内容摘要
这段视频教人如何不再把别人的意见当成自己的问题，核心是三个自问：这影响我吗？真的有人受伤害吗？我的意见被邀请了吗？作者强调要区分差异与伤害，不要因为看不惯就制造问题，但也不应对真正的错误视而不见。
该视频的字幕没有词级时间戳，逐词高亮不可用，高亮会以整句为单位
#1 I'm gonna teach you how to stop making people's opinions your problem.
我要教你如何不再把别人的看法当成自己的问题。
#2 Because at some point, society has made everyone's problems theirs.
因为不知从何时起，社会已经把每个人的问题都变成了他们自己的问题。
#3 Lock in. I'm gonna teach you how to mind your business.
集中注意力。我要教你如何管好自己的事。
#4 At some point in your life, you've fallen victim to this. You care way too much about what another person is doing.
在人生的某个时刻，你曾深受其害。你太在意别人在做什么了。
#5 Somebody is wearing something you would never wear, believes in something you would never believe, spends their money in a way that you would not, lives their life differently from you, and suddenly you feel personally responsible for letting them know that you don't approve.
有人穿着你永远不会穿的衣服，信仰你永远不会相信的东西，花钱的方式与你不同，过着与你不同的生活，然后你突然觉得自己有责任让他们知道你不赞同。
#6 But before you comment, criticize, or blame a person for what they've done, I want you to ask yourself, why have I made their choice my emotional responsibility?
但在你评论、批评或指责别人所做之事前，我希望你问问自己：为什么我要把他们的选择变成我的情感责任？
#7 The reality is, you are uncomfortable that a person can choose to live freely.
现实是，你对一个人能够选择自由地生活感到不舒服。
#8 So instead of regulating that discomfort, you decide to regulate that other person.
所以，你决定不去调节那种不适感，而是去管束那个人。
#9 Fair warning, I'm not trying to teach you how to be passive or turn a blind eye to wrongdoing.
事先警告，我不是要教你如何被动，或对错误行为视而不见。
#10 If you definitely see something that doesn't look right, call it out.
如果你确实看到不对劲的事情，就说出来。
#11 We're starting off right away. We're using three big questions that are gonna help you able to identify where you fall short.
我们马上开始。我们会用三个大问题来帮你找出自己的短板。
#12 Does it affect me? Half the time we notice something, and then we automatically make it our concern.
这影响我吗？很多时候我们注意到某件事，就自动把它当成自己的事。
#13 I specifically made a video where I was wearing a bonnet in it, and someone made a comment about, why are men always wearing Bonnets.
我专门做了一个视频，视频里我戴着软帽，然后有人评论说，为什么男人总是戴软帽。
#14 They're. They're taking all. Them all away from the. The women's shelves. Now women have no bonnets at all to wear.
他们……他们把所有的都拿走了。从女性货架上拿走了。现在女性根本没有软帽可戴了。
#15 Why aren't all the other men in this comment section saying something about this? That is just an example that happened to me.
为什么评论区其他男人都不说点什么？这只是一个发生在我身上的例子。
#16 However, many of us can see this in other different examples. See what happened here and analyze it for yourself in your own situation.
然而，我们很多人可以在其他不同的例子里看到这一点。看看这里发生了什么，然后结合你自己的情况分析一下。
#17 You saw something that you didn't like, and then you invented a larger problem so it would justify why everyone else should care.
你看到了一些你不喜欢的东西，然后你编造出一个更大的问题，这样就能证明为什么其他人都应该在意。
#18 Because, see, for this person to say, I personally don't like men wearing bonnets, that doesn't sound powerful enough.
因为，你看，对这个人来说，说“我个人不喜欢男人戴软帽”，听起来不够有力量。
#19 So now women have been deprived of bonnets everywhere.
所以现在，各地的女性都被剥夺了戴软帽的权利。
#20 And I want you to try to see this in yourself, because this is what a lot of people do. They turn I wouldn't choose this into nobody should choose this.
我希望你试着在自己身上看到这一点，因为很多人都会这样做。他们把“我不会选择这个”变成“谁都不该选择这个”。
#21 I would never wear that because nobody should wear that.
我绝对不会穿那种东西，因为谁都不该穿那种东西。
#22 I would never spend my money on that, because you are a bad person for spending your money on that.
我绝对不会把钱花在那上面，因为把钱花在那上面的人都是烂人。
#23 That religion doesn't make sense to me because that religion is so false and fake.
那种宗教对我来说毫无道理，因为那种宗教太假太虚伪了。
#24 But your preference only tells us what you would choose.
但你的偏好只能说明你会怎么选。
#25 It doesn't tell us what everyone else should choose.
它并不能告诉我们其他所有人应该怎么选。
#26 So the next time you're faced with an opinion or someone else doing something, you need to ask yourself, does this actually affect my life?
所以下次你面对一个观点或别人在做某事时，你需要问自己：这真的影响我的生活吗？
#27 Does their belief force me to believe it does what They wear affect what I wear.
他们的信仰会强迫我相信吗？他们穿什么会影响我穿什么吗？
#28 Does their hobby stop me from enjoying mine?
他们的爱好会阻止我享受我的爱好吗？
#29 Does their purchase come out of my account?
他们买东西会从我的账户里扣钱吗？
#30 Because sometimes the most emotionally intelligent thing you can do is notice something, acknowledge it, dislike it, and keep moving.
因为有时候你能做的最有情商的事就是注意到某件事，承认它，不喜欢它，然后继续前进。
#31 You do not have to turn every internal reaction to another person's emotional burden.
你没必要把每一次内心反应都变成别人的情感负担。
#32 Is anyone actually being harmed?
真的有人受到伤害吗？
#33 This is where a lot of people start to get confused. They feel uncomfortable about something and immediately assume that that discomfort has now caused harm to everyone else in the vicinity.
这就是很多人开始感到困惑的地方。他们对某件事感到不舒服，就立刻认为这种不适已经对周围所有人造成了伤害。
#34 They are so convinced that their discomfort is evidence that something wrong is happening.
他们如此确信自己的不适就是出问题的证据。
#36 Someone making a different decision that may challenge you, offend you, or confuse you, or make you question your own choice.
有人做出了不同的决定，这可能挑战你、冒犯你、让你困惑，或者让你质疑自己的选择。
#37 Those are things that can happen, but those feelings are not automatic proof of harm. Take, for example, someone around you or someone you see online is practicing a different religion.
这些事可能发生，但那些感受并不是伤害的自动证明。举个例子，你身边的人或者你在网上看到的人信奉不同的宗教。
#38 That is different.
那是不同的。
#39 That is a difference between you and that other person. Someone uses religion to harm, control, or abuse another person, that is harm.
那是你和那个人之间的差异。如果有人利用宗教来伤害、控制或虐待他人，那才是伤害。
#40 Someone wears clothes you would never wear, that is difference. Someone deliberately using clothing to harm or put down another individual, that is possible harm.
有人穿着你永远不会穿的衣服，那是差异。有人故意利用服装来伤害或贬低他人，那才可能是伤害。
#41 Someone lives a lifestyle that you wouldn't normally choose.
有人过着一种你通常不会选择的生活方式。
#42 That's difference.
那就是差异。
#43 Someone pressures you into doing something or making you want to do something that violates your boundaries.
有人强迫你做某事，或者让你想做某件侵犯你界限的事。
#44 Now, now it concerns you.
现在，现在它才跟你有关。
#45 So the question here Isn't. Do I agree with this?
所以这里的问题不是：我同意这个吗？
#46 The question is, is anyone being abused, exploited, threatened, or directly violated?
问题是：有没有人正在被虐待、剥削、威胁或直接侵犯？
#47 Minding your business does not mean ignoring wrongdoing.
管好自己的事并不意味着无视错误行为。
#48 It means refusing to manufacture wrongdoing because of difference. And some of you need to hear this loud and clear.
它意味着拒绝因为差异而凭空制造错误行为。你们中有些人需要把这话听清楚。
#49 Being offended is not the same thing as being harmed.
被冒犯和被伤害不是一回事。
#50 Sometimes you're simply experiencing a world that doesn't reflect back to yours.
有时候你只是经历着一个与你不同的世界。
#51 You are seeing a difference in lifestyle and choice and behavior, and all of a sudden, your world gets threatened to the point where you feel like this is an actual problem.
你看到的是生活方式、选择和行为的差异，突然之间，你的世界受到威胁，以至于你觉得这真的是个问题。
#53 And I need you to know that that is okay.
我需要你知道，那没关系。
#54 The world does not have to live like you or be like you in order for you to feel secure in it. Was my opinion invited? Okay. You are allowed to have thoughts.
这个世界不必像你那样生活或像你一样，你才能在其中感到安全。我的意见被邀请了吗？好吧。你可以有想法。
#55 You are allowed to dislike something. You are allowed to think, that looks strange.
你可以不喜欢某件事。你可以认为，那看起来很奇怪。
#56 I would never do that. I don't agree with that.
我永远不会那么做。我不同意那个。
#57 That belief makes no sense to me.
那个信念对我来说毫无道理。
#58 But understand, not every single thought needs to be a comment. Every feeling does not need to be a confrontation.
但要明白，不是每一个想法都需要变成评论。每一种感受都不需要变成对抗。
#59 Every opinion does not deserve an audience.
不是每一个意见都值得有人听。
#60 Take, for example, your friend asks you specifically, you.
举个例子，你的朋友特意问你，就是你。
#61 Okay, what do you think about this person I'm dating now?
好吧，你觉得我现在约会的这个人怎么样？
#62 Do you. Do you like them?
你，你喜欢他们吗？
#63 Now? Your opinion was invited.
现在？你的意见是被邀请才说的。
#64 Be honest, be respectful.
要诚实，要尊重。
#65 Say what you see.
看到什么就说什么。
#66 But if a stranger post their partner and You decide to make comments on their appearance. Absolutely nobody asked you.
但如果一个陌生人发了他们伴侣的照片，你就决定对别人的外貌评头论足，那绝对没人问你。
#67 You're not minding your business. You simply felt entitled to make your reaction their responsibility.
你这不是在管好自己的事。你只是觉得自己有资格把你的反应变成他们的责任。
#68 Or someone buy something really expensive online,
或者有人在网上买了很贵的东西。
#69 something like, that's. That's outrageous,
类似这样的，那太离谱了。
#70 maybe to you, and you go comment something like, okay, you don't need that. You definitely didn't need to buy that thing. You know, you kind of totally wasted your money. That doesn't make you wise.
也许对你来说是这样，然后你去评论说，好吧，你不需要那个。你绝对不需要买那个东西。你知道，你完全浪费了你的钱。那并不会让你显得明智。
#71 It makes you strangely invested into another adult's bank account.
它会让你莫名其妙地对另一个成年人的银行账户格外上心。
#72 Minding your business is understanding that silence doesn't mean you lost.
管好自己的事，就是明白沉默并不代表你输了。
#73 It simply means that you recognized the situation. Does not require you.
它只是说明你看清了局势，并不需要你掺和进去。
#74 And here's a deeper realization.
而这里有一个更深的领悟。
#75 Okay, A lot of people criticize harmless choices because those choices make them question themselves.
好吧，很多人会批评那些无伤大雅的选择，因为这些选择会让他们质疑自己。
#76 A person dresses so freely and makes you think about how you're.
一个人穿得那么自由，就会让你开始想自己是什么样的人。
#77 You're. You're fearful of being judged.
你。你害怕被人评判。
#78 If you wore a certain thing, someone.
如果你穿了某件衣服，有人……
#79 Someone's chasing an unfamiliar or an unsafe career.
有人在追求一份陌生或不稳定的职业。
#80 And you start to think back about how you decided to play it safe and you didn't want to do the thing you really wanted to do because you thought the prospects weren't there.
然后你就开始回想自己当初是怎么选择求稳的，你不想做你真正想做的事，因为你觉得那行没前途。
#81 A person expresses their fake confidently, and it makes you start to think about how you're not sure about yours. You're not sure about what you believe, or you're not sure you don't believe.
一个人自信地表达他们虚假的信念，这会让你开始思考你对自己的信念有多不确定。你不确定自己相信什么，或者你不确定自己不相信什么。
#82 Someone spends their money on something they genuinely love, and it.
有人把钱花在他们真正热爱的东西上，然后……
#83 It irritates you, it makes you mad because you wouldn't Want to do that for yourself?
这让你恼火，让你生气，因为你自己不愿意为自己那么做，不是吗？
#84 You would feel guilty for doing that for yourself.
你会因为为自己那么做而感到内疚。
#85 So instead of asking, why are they doing that? I want you to start asking, why does them doing that cause such a strong reaction in me? Because sometimes you are not trying to correct them.
所以，不要问“他们为什么那么做？”，我希望你开始问：“为什么他们那么做会在我心里引起这么强烈的反应？”因为有时候你并不是想纠正他们。
#86 You are trying to silence something that awakened inside of you.
你是想让你内心被唤醒的某种东西安静下来。
#87 That doesn't automatically make you a bad person.
这并不会自动让你成为一个坏人。
#88 It just means you have more work to do for yourself than you realize. And it's not about them.
这只是意味着你为自己要做的事比你意识到的更多。而且这跟他们无关。
#89 It's about you.
这是关于你自己的。
#90 You have work to do.
你有功课要做。
#91 Now, listen, if you are on the receiving end of this thing and people are constantly making fun of you or criticizing you for the choices you make, you do not have to defend every harmless choice you make.
听着，如果你是被针对的一方，人们总是拿你做的选择开玩笑或批评你，你没必要为自己做的每一个无害选择辩护。
#92 Someone says, I would never wear that, then say, okay, don't.
有人说，我绝不会穿那个，那你就说，好吧，别穿。
#93 Don't wear it. That's a waste of money. Well, good thing it wasn't your money.
别穿它。那是浪费钱。哦，幸好那不是你的钱。
#94 I don't understand why you would believe in that. That's okay. You don't have to. And sometimes. Sometimes guys, you can say nothing.
我不明白你为什么会相信那个。没关系，你不需要（解释）。有时候，有时候伙计们，你可以什么都不说。
#95 Because someone manufacturing a problem doesn't automatically mean you have to resolve that problem.
因为有人制造问题，并不自动意味着你必须解决那个问题。
#96 It's their problem.
那是他们的问题。
#97 You do not have to prove to anyone that your life is acceptable by you.
你不需要向任何人证明你的生活是你自己可以接受的。
#98 Your choice does not require unanimous decision. Unanimous approval to remain your choice.
你的选择不需要一致同意。不需要一致认可才能保持为你的选择。
#99 So before you speak on someone else's life, I want you to ask those three questions.
所以，在你对别人的生活发表意见之前，我希望你问那三个问题。
#100 Does it affect me?
它影响我吗？
#101 Is anyone actually being harmed? And was my opinion invited?
真的有人受到伤害吗？我的意见是被邀请发表的吗？
#102 If the answer to all three is no, you don't need a better argument or a discussion. You just need to mind your business.
如果这三个问题的答案都是否定的，那你不需要更好的论据或讨论。你只需要管好你自己的事。
#103 Maturity is not agreeing with everything you see. It's understanding that you can actually dislike something without having the desire to not make it exist for someone else.
成熟不是赞同你看到的一切。而是理解你可以不喜欢某件事，但并不想让别人也无法拥有它。
#104 Not every thought needs to be a comment, not every feeling needs to become someone else's problem, and not every difference requires your correction.
不是每个想法都需要变成评论，不是每种感受都需要成为别人的问题，也不是每个差异都需要你去纠正。
#105 Sometimes growth as an individual is seeing someone live harmlessly in a way that you can't, and still continuing on with your day. As always. I'm Cam.
有时候，个人的成长就是看到别人以你无法做到的方式无害地生活，然后继续过你的日子。一如既往，我是 Cam。
#106 I'll see you in the next one. If you're the type to unnecessarily comment on everything you see, this is for you.
我们下期见。如果你是对看到的一切都要不必要地评论一番的人，那这个视频就是给你的。
#107 Hello governor.
你好，先生。
#108 If you watch till the end of that video, I love you by the way. Mmm.
如果你看到那个视频的最后，顺便说一句，我爱你。嗯。
#109 Okay. Current stats we hit over 200 k followers on TikTok, over 100,000 on Instagram, and we officially hit 10 k on freaking YouTube. Insanity.
好的。当前数据：我们在 TikTok 上超过了 20 万粉丝，Instagram 上超过 10 万，而且我们终于在 YouTube 上达到了 1 万。太疯狂了。
#110 That is so bizarre.
那太奇怪了。
#111 I've loved and enjoyed talking to every single one of you.
我喜欢和你们每一个人聊天，也很享受这个过程。
#112 I promise, I promise you.
我保证，我向你保证。
#113 I see the comments and I'm trying every single day to make time and respond to them in case there's anything important.
我看到评论了，我每天都在努力抽时间回复，以防有什么重要的事情。
#114 So if I haven't gotten to you, I promise I will.
所以如果我没有回复到你，我保证我会的。
#115 N 0 R 3 M A k.com live sessions are there if you want to talk to me. One On one.
如果你想和我聊天，N 0 R 3 M A k.com 的直播会话就在那里。一对一。
#116 I'm more than happy to have those conversations with you.
我非常乐意和你们进行这些对话。
#117 If you want to chat or a call.
如果你想聊天或者通电话。
#118 Bookings are there. Go make one.
预约通道在那里。去预约一个吧。
#119 They've been going crazy. I've been loving talking to the new people.
它们一直很火爆。我一直很喜欢和新朋友聊天。
#120 But, guys, I'm just a regular guy trying to make an impact on the world.
但是，伙计们，我只是一个想对世界产生影响的普通人。
#121 I'm a regular guy making an impact on the world. I love you all.
我只是个普通人，也在努力给这个世界带来一点影响。我爱你们所有人。
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